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First of all, God gets all the glory for giving me the life I have. This last year was unreal... unforgettable. A blessing
10 years ago I never thought I would get what I was given this past year, ever. Especially where my mind and heart were. After 16 surgeries, countless procedures and years of bullying at school, I was ready to quit... Let me explain
At the age of 10, I was planning how to end my life. The only time I didn't think about it was the weekend. Saturdays and Sundays I got to spend all day with family and friends that at the time, I thought they were the only people who cared, and they did/do. Church was helpful, but outside of my church and family and close friends, I thought no one else cared. I had what seemed like so many negatives in my life from all the health issues and quite a lot of bullying at school, that life wasn't worth it at the time.
It took me years to admit that I had these thoughts to any of my friends and family. It took counseling to help me even admit it. When an acting group/club/team/etc. opened up at church I jumped at the chance to join. I always felt comfortable in a live theater. My Grandpa did opera for years, I got to sit in a lot of rehearsals and shows. We want to shows at our local theater and sometimes I became an audience plant, being included in someway was awesome... It still is 😂.
I wrote another blog saying theater saved my life, I meant to say God saved my life by introducing theater to me.
So why was this last year the BEST EVER? Well, I got cast in 3 shows... THREE!! I don't care what size of role I got, I prefer "small" but would take anything. Im so happy that I was included. Music Man and The Little Mermaid were dream shows, Love and Information was a total surprise but I loved it. I learned I can memorize lines.
I haven't really had those bad thoughts since I joined theater 9 years ago. Maybe while having migraines, but that passes. Having the love and support and the distraction of focusing on theater has helped a lot.
I have learned a lot and my mental health is in a lot better place.
Thats all. Im Thankful for my life, for God and ALL of my families, blood or not, we are all family.